Strange Things
by scarletphlame
Summary: Strange things happen when you move into a house that isn't really your own anymore. Carly's dad discovers this when he moves into the Bushwell Plaza. AU


Summary: Strange things happen when you move into a house that isn't really your own anymore. Carly's dad moves into the Bushwell Plaza.

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><p>There really isn't anything more peculiar than coming home to see his son lying on his back on a ladder, with a cup of paint beside him and a brush in his mouth.<p>

"What are you doing up there?" he stutters.

"Oh, hey, Dad!" Spencer yells. (It's very, very strange to think that he paid money to send this kid to law school. He wonders if things might be different if he'd stuck around.)

"I asked a question," he says, tone clipped.

"Oh, well, I'm... uh, painting!"

"On the cieling," Steven speaks flatly.

"Well, yeah!" Spencer shouts back at him, his tone wavering with the slightest hint of uncertainty.

"Couldn't find a canvas?" He raises an eyebrow to inquire.

"Nope!" Spencer says cheerfully.

The door behind him swings open and he sees Carly dump her backpack on the floor next to the couch. "Hey, Dad! Hey, Spencer."

"Hey, Carl-ay!" Spencer calls back. Carly just grins and starts to head up the stairs to the 'studio', or 'the Batcave', as Freddie calls it.

(And Carly thinks this is normal. Thinks Spencer painting the ceiling is normal. How can she think this is normal?)

Carly frowns. "You okay, Dad? You look a bit... shaky."

"Huh? Oh, no, I'm fine... I was just... having a thought," he mutters, excusing himself from the room and opening the fridge. There's an unboxed, half-eaten pizza lying in the freezer, and a bag of grapes in the fridge. Bottles of tomato sauce that have been left uncapped are sitting on the rack, and there's a random box labelled 'INEXPENSIVE MEATBALLS' resting quaintly beside a can of pickles. (All the pickle juice is gone. He wonders where it went. Possibly Sam's stomach.)

Speaking of the devil, the blonde walks into the house, unceremoniously dumping herself on the couch. "Hey, Spencer!" She kicks off her shoes and they hit the wall, before sliding onto the ground. Her sock-covered feet land on a pillow on the couch.

He makes a mental note to never touch that pillow again.

"Hey, Carly's dad!" Sam shouts at him, and he blinks. Oh. So he does exist.

"Hello, Samantha," he greets her, giving her something of a small wave. She squeezes her eyes shut.

"Wow, you sound all military-officey," Sam says, beaming brightly. Then the expression falls rather suddenly. "I hate serious people," she grumbles.

The door swings open again (seriously, what is his house, a convention center?) and in walks Freddie Benson. He gingerly places his laptop bag on the ground.

"Hello, Sam, Spencer, Mr. Shay," he greets politely, taking a seat next to Sam on the couch.

"OH, MY GOD!" Sam screams, rocketing off the couch and backtracking several steps.

"Or as some people used to say, hello," Freddie mumbles.

"You smell like rotten bacon!" Sam pulls a face.

"You did put rotten bacon in my locker," he tells her, raising an eyebrow.

Steven blinks. His daughter's best friend is covered in rotten-bacon smell. And he's sitting on their couch.

That poor couch.

"Come on, we have to rehearse for the show," Freddie reminds Sam, moving towards his laptop bag.

"Just a second," Sam says, running over to the counter, grabbing an already-opened jar and gulping down the rest of the juice. (So she does drink it... interesting.) Then she runs over to Freddie's laptop bag, and, before he can reach it, she punts it about five centimeters forward.

"Ow!" she howls, clutching her foot and hopping as if on a pogo stick. "What's that laptop made out of?"

Freddie scowls and grabs the bag up from the floor, quickly zipping it open and running a hand protectively over the surface. Probably checking for dents. "Are you okay?" he whispers, and Steven realizes he's talking... to the computer.

"Mama does not like," Sam quips.

"Oh, come on," Freddie grunts, and the two bound upstairs.

"Wait for me!" Spencer yells, even though he's still lying on his back on a ladder... Steven makes a mental note to teach his son safety skills.

Later.

He joins them all up on the third floor, unsure why Spencer insists they must take the elevator up (he has legs, and he can walk). Still, there's something very surreal about the whole experience of being on his daughter's show for the second time.

He never expected to come back home. He never expected his son to drop out of law school. But then he never expected his daughter to become the star of her own show.

And he suspects that that is the strangest thing of all.


End file.
